Strawberries & Polka Dots

yesterday really felt like summer! it wasn't the heat or the calendar that told me so and it wasn't a feeling i had really felt for a long time or perhaps ever. kind of odd sounding i suppose. as a teenager in Nova Scotia my mom would yell at me to put on shorts and get some sun ;) i am quite pale, i was very thin then and i thought it was always chilly, especially if you get a sunburn and when the sun would go down or a breeze would hit, goosebumps would rise. it would take till noon to start getting warm and after supper it would be back to jeans anyway. i thought it was only hot in the sun and away from the ocean breeze so i could stay in jeans and a hoodie all day every day. summer was not that enjoyable, puzzling! as a child i did more summer things. i can recall all my cute swim suits, sunglasses, straw hats, activities & adventures with both sides of the family (since my parents had divorced when i was 2 1/2 years old). Summer to me was the feeling of gritty sand in your teeth between each and every ketchup chip :) could not wipe it off your hands good enough but there was no need to really care. it was happiness (i ♥ you Mom). riding my little bike up and down Mémère's sidewalk peeking at the kitchen window making her smile, playing with my large clear Care Bear beach ball till the wind took it and it flew across the ocean off the shores of St. Joseph-du-Moine in Cape Breton Nova Scotia, then running into the tent made of screen to escape the black flies. it feels like summer was only something to enjoy as a child, a free child, safe, taken care of. not many summers as a grown up have felt anything of the sort. little vacations here and there, lovely, amazing, but passing through, oh so quickly, not bringing that exact feeling, just a few others and escaping ever so swiftly. hard to explain. yesterday would not seem odd to others, i did plenty i've done before, on a regular basis, but there was an odd feeling to it, traveling in time, feeling not of the same age or in the right location. i went on a bike ride in a new place with a friend who is as dear to me as a sister. i almost forgot she wasn't blood and was really just a dear friend, it was so strange. went to the beach, i dealt with things that have been annoying to me as i grew up and i was barely bothered (uncertain if true or dealing for a greater purpose) and it was as if it were a tale needed to be written. those pesky sharp rocks and sand just made prints in the skin that had soaked the sun all day. the water was nice and warm, i was dirty from the water, the sand and the sun as well as the sweat of a 10 mile bike ride along a river with my sister. i felt like such a little girl, messy hair not a care in the world. but really felt like a girl. my black with white polka dot bikini and nails painted like strawberries (when applying the red it was as if watching a cartoon paintbrush appear out of nowhere drowning a white abyss, very bright and shocking, a color that has not seen the light of day, come out of my box of things. not ever owned a red that was not deep ruby bloody vampire-esque, bought it specifically to try these berries, what compelled me i may never know). truly was a girl, it was an out of this world experience, there was not a moment of sadness, anger, frustration or anything negative. slow day and as if time was non existent, ever, knew nothing of it. it almost was not real, looking at yourself in the many from afar, a book, a movie. but i really was there and i am extremely glad i decided to visit summer again or it me, i think it knew i needed it.